Georgia Nicolson, Fabbity Fab As Always
by Remus Remier
Summary: The trials and tribulations of Georgia Nicolson, somewhat before the first book. Enjoy. R/R, please.


**Tuesday, April 27 9:29 p.m.**

Hello, avid reader of my private thoughts and feelings. Thank you for taking the time to read in to my fascinating life. Even though these things are really meant to be private. So really, you are intruding. Intruding on me like I sometimes intrude on the people next door. It is quite a vicious circle, intruding.

**9:35 p.m.**

I am intruding upon the neighbors again. They really should learn to close their blinds. I mean, any creeping creepers could look in upon their nightly activities at any moment. I would never enable such people to look in on me.

**9:37 p.m.**

Dear Lord, I'm one of those creeping creepers. You might as well rename me Georgia McCreepster. I wonder if when I die, they'll put 'Georgia Nicolson, Britain's Most Infamous Pervert' on my tombstone. That would go over nicely.

**one minute later**

Sacre bleu, the next doors are doing the tango for the nude! Great Scott, CLOSE THE BLINDS, NEXT DOORS! PERVERTS ARE WATCHING!

Wait a second. It's clear I am the only visible pervert here. I am only warning myself.. Oh, buggering bugger. Mr. Next Door has just looked to where I am sitting.. and now he's telling the Mrs. Oh blast, now they're both looking.

Oh, they're getting up now. I could not watch another second of their expression of luuuuurve and so on. I mean, not that I was really watching or anything. I wonder where they went.

**9:43 p.m.**

Not that I really want to know or anything.

**9:44 p.m.**

But really, they couldn't have gone far. Dear God, I have a problem. I should get my peeping problem sorted out.

**9:46 p.m.**

Doorbell rang. What a strange hour for a visit from one of the Ace Gang. I'll just pop downstairs.

**9:58 p.m.**

Vati is so unreasonable. Apparently the next doors found my peeping a b it uncomfortable, awkward, and mostly creepy. Can you believe that? They suggested I see a counselor!

"Your offspring obviously needs help," Mrs. Next Door suggested quite tastefully to my grumpy parents. What kind of help do they think I need? Peeping counselling? You know, those counselor fellows and fellowettes are nearly as bad as I am. They peep in on anyone's lives! I kindly suggested this to the next doors, but they just got all flustered. Bonkers, really. They must not appreciate my sense of humour.

Must call Jazzy, my very best and fabulous pal, and tell her the news.

**10:01 p.m.**

Phoned Jas. After several seconds (hours) of bickering with her livid Vati, she finally got on the other end.

"Georgia."  
"Yes, my bestest friend."

"It is after 10 over here in Not-Mad-Land. I am not sure what time it is in YOUR land, but some of us have a time during which it isn't appropriate to-"

"Yes, thank you, Phone Nazi. I'm aware that it is after 9:30, but this is important."  
"Georgia, your version of importance is different from mine."  
"Quit talking rubbish and listen up. You know the next doors who always leave their blinds open?"  
"Oh, yes. The ones you always peep on."

"Jas, I've got no time for your rubbish."

"Righto, continue."  
"I am being forced to move downstairs on account of those next doors peeping on me peeping."  
"Peeping on you peeping?"  
"Yes."  
"Georgia."

"Yes, Jas."  
"You are completely mad."

And then she had the nerve to put the phone down on me! Can she do that? I am considering demoting her to nearly best pal. Sometimes I think her sole purpose is to drive me ballisticisimus.

**10:20 p.m. **

Must get my things to prepare for the downstairs adventure.

**10:21 p.m. **

Honestly, moving to a room with now windows just because Mr. and Mrs. Exhibitionist just HAPPENED to look at me as I glanced in to their den of creepo luuuuurve.

NO WINDOWS! This is an injustice! I will not stand for this.. tomorrow. I am off to dreamland for now.

**Wednesday April 28 7:43 a.m.**

Bugger. Radio Jas has informed the Ace Gang that I am a serial peeper. So now they are looking through a circle made by their thumb and the finger next to that one. Honestly.

I am glad the gang is so sympathetico.

**7:56 a.m. Maths**

Maths is _tres _useless. Oh, look. Rosie has just passed me a note.

_Hey G, how's the peeping? Gang meeting at lunch. xxxx R_

Rosie is being demoted as well. I will announce this at the meeting.

**8:00 a.m.**

Then that will leave Ellen and Jools as my very best pals.

May have to rethink this demotion.

**8:01 a.m. **

No, I must remain strong. And eschew both of them with a very firm hand. If Radio Jas and Rosie are always looking to poke fun at my misfortunes, how can I have a serious moment with the two of them around?

I imagine the meeting will go a bit like this:

Jas: "Hello, my greatest and only true friend, because even though ou are a local pervert, you are the only one who will put up with me and my pathetic owl obsession."

Moi: "Yes, Jazzy, thank you for the kind words."

Ellen: "What um.. What do you mean by, ah.. um.. a peeper?"  
Moi: "Well, you see, Dithering Ellen-"  
Jas: "Georgia looks in upon the lovely family next door as they are doing the full monty."

And so on and so forth. You see, Jas is not good at being a whatsit. Secret keeper. Must find new keeper of Georgia's secrets.

**8:57 a.m. Break**

Called an emergency meeting of the RAB (Rebellers Against Berets, of course). Must find a new way to wear the floppy hats. The beret is a very flexible, rather stupid part of our uniform here at Stalag Hell. So in defiance of Slim, we create inventive ways to wear the crap hats.

The most successful was the sausage roll, where you roll the hat up to very small and pin it round the back of your head. It is quite literally invisible to the naked eye. But only if you're looking at us from the front. Otherwise it is actually very visible. I must say, it was rather clever of us. Now we need to come up with a plan to get one past Hawkeye and Slim.

**8:59 a.m.**

Cheers to us.


End file.
